I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
