I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish I only lived at night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
