I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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