Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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