My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He kissed a someone with a penis
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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