Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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