Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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