:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
