just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
