went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
