He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He better not be in your backpack
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
