shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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