shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
