good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
