I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
