Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
