that's an acceptable place to lick
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
