I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize