i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
