I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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