we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
