Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
