You just made me feel so damn special
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im holly from the hills drunk
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
