when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
