I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
