96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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