Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
