I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
