First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
