We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize