i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
