I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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