dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
that may or may not have been my penis.
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