i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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