I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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