I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
