And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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