Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
