omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize