so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
