Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
