I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
