She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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