So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
