IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize