That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
