where does the pee come out of this thing
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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