Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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