U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
