so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize