yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
