I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
