So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I met the friendliest cop last night
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize