What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
