Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
