so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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