i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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