But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
