i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
