i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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