Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
