Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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