What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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