We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize