I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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