I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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