I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
