drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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