I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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