dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize