CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
