No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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