I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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