I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
