i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
