So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize