actually, I'm a sock model
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
