I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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